The Importance of Ignoring Your Wife

That is--ignore her in order to worship Christ. Here is what I mean...

As men placed in nurturing authority over our families and homes, we often fail to do what we should to lead well. Sometimes we do poorly, and sometimes we do really poorly. And to one degree or another, our/my failures in this area result in a kind of amplification of my wife's insecurities (which is not at all to say we men don't have our own insecurities). Her discontent or discouragement may lead her to be more open to the temptations to find comfort or security in other things--perhaps a more certain financial situation, or a better-suited home, or more money in the emergency fund, or some new clothes, or any other number of things. Then, when we men become aware of these desires for these kinds of things, we can aim to remedy the situation by working in whatever way to provide the very things she wants to feel more secure or desirable.

At least two problems arise at this point. First, we may not want to do those things. We may not have energy or resources even if we did want to. Second, we're enabling her fall into the temptation and sin of seeking security outside of Christ. And furthermore, give it enough time and you'll see (or you already know)--this simply doesn't work. She doesn't grow more secure.

So the remedy is this: ignore your wife. That is, ignore these messages that she may overtly or subtly send and instead, worship God every chance you get. Sing to God. Pray to God. Confess to God. Read the Word of God. Get into meaningful relationship with another man of God. Worship God. Worship is the only way we'll be transformed into the kind of men and husbands who will be courageous enough to be humble enough to pray with our wives (though we haven't in years), and to lead in our homes, and teach the Word in our homes and live and love sacrificially in our homes, and lovingly guide our wives in the gospel that will save both them and us from finding security and meaning outside of Christ.

So ignore--or better yet, wage war to keep your sights on the real battlefield--your worship, and not on the side skirmishes that sap your energy for the real fight of faith.